here is invariably a double standard about virginity. Those men who make sure that their brides are virgin, are usually the same men who make sure that their girl friends do not remain virgin and they themselves do not remain virgin. There is no sign of virginity either in the males or in the females. Tear of hymen causing bleeding is not the sure test of virginity. If a woman bleeds on the first wedding night, she may be a virgin, but if she does not bleed, it does not mean that she is not a virgin.

There are several reasons for not bleeding on the first wedding night, other than the previous intercourse. The hymen may be very lax, or it might have been torn by fingers or by vigorous sports or by the use of tampon during the menstruation. There is a saying, “It is difficult to prove a girl to be a virgin, and it is more difficult to prove that she is not a virgin.” Purity should be in the mind and not in the vagina. Man or woman should not ask the spouse about the sexual experiences prior to their marriage. Even if she/he asks, you need not tell the truth (never in this matter at least). Still better would be to think that virginity is between two ears and not between the two thighs.

Boys also feel that sex with virgin girl is more pleasure. It is not so. Do wearing brand new shoes or shirt give you more comfort? (New shoes may give you blisters.) Some girls are afraid of profuge bleeding and pain at the first intercourse due to tear of hymen. The bleeding is not more than a few drops and the pain is not more than a prick of a needle. Anticipation of pain is more disturbing than the pain itself. There are certain other reasons for not bleeding on the first wedding night.

The man ignorantly may try to insert his penis at urethra or at clitoris of the woman when she will not bleed inspite of having intact hymen. The hymen may be thick and tough where it is not possible to penetrate by the penis. In that case she may need a surgical incision to cut open the hymen.

A woman with a very lax hymen also does not bleed on the first wedding night. One more thing about hymen. Some girls do not have perforations on the hymen and therefore, the menstrual flow, instead of coming out, accumulates in the vagina. She gets pain and retention of urine. This condition is called “Haematocolpos.” A simple surgical incision relieves the problem.