One of the number one complaint women make about their partners is that they come to orgasm too quickly. In most cases, what they're really trying to say is that they want their own to be more prolonged and fulfilling! It's hard when you're in a frenzy to 'get there' that we often lose out on the build up. Orgasms resulting from a slow build-up or arousal are more powerful than the ones that rush to the finish line---it's over before we had time to really enjoy the race!

A few years ago, reading something in a Tantric Guide that changed my whole perspective and physical behavior on the subject. It said that most people unconsciously tense their genital area (and most likely, the entire body) when being stimulated to, or near, or trying to orgasm. This was something I definitely could relate to, especially when trying to 'get to it' during intercourse or while my partner was trying to stimulate me. Instead, the technique requires to consciously 'not tense' the genital area during stimulation---and by doing so, it allows the pleasure to grow not only genitally, but actually spread throughout your whole body. I am certain some may be quick to think "Hmm...this does not sound like a big deal."

The first time you try it, you will find it very difficult to stop tensing your lower body...it is such an automatic response. While slowing things down a bit, focus solely on relaxing all muscles and 'allow' the feelings and pleasure to grow, or perhaps the word is 'glow'---it feels very different, and in a really good way. You will also most likely have to lighten the touch or pressure, as the nerve endings on the clitoris or penis in relaxed state are much more sensitive to touch or friction. Soon, the physical excitement seems to go deeper, and the pleasure radius growing larger and wider. Eventually your entire body will feel experience the sensation that in the past was focused solely in your genital area.

Try this little secret technique the next time you are alone, perhaps experimenting with a new sex toy. Remember not to rush, and stop every minute or so and check your body tension. When you are with your partner, take turns while the other acts as a coach through the technique (best done as sweet whispers in their ear.) You will find it be a truly amazing and bonding experience---cherish every glowing second!