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Abusive men always think there is a reason behind a woman’s actions and her words. They see her as only trying to influence. They rarely look at goodness in her. They frequently suspect her of doing things they are not guilty of and are easily irritated by her, especially when she is in a good mood. These men might feel they love these women but inside they do not "like" them.
The most important thing in any relationship is to be respected and liked. Abusive men always want to show her up and put her down. They thrive on making her feel inferior in everything. The object is to tear her down to make her feel weak, insecure and co-dependent. It is a double-edged sword: a no win situation.
The woman spends years trying to prove she's not bad but it's useless. No matter what she does, he doesn’t care so it is futile for her to try to prove she is worthwhile. Here are the Top 10 Ways to Spot an Abusive Man.
1. He’s got a history of drug abuse and/or alcohol, and possibly violence.
2. He has record of being arrested for domestic violence. Do your homework and do a background check and search the internet for his name.
3. He has a poor or no relationship with his mother or ex partners.
4. He speaks negatively about all his past relationships, blaming them fully. If at all possible, try to speak to these women to hear their point of view. If he badmouths them, you may be next.
5.He exhibits an over-bearing, aggressive personality. You may be attracted by his apparent confidence, strength, determination and aggressive personality – the kind of qualities you think you lack. However, this personality type can also be a red flag for abusive behavior.
6. He talks at length, bragging about himself. Narcassistic men are famous for abuse because in their mind, they can do no wrong.
7.He expects a big return on his venture. He may seem happy to put your needs and wishes first for a little while, but it will not be long before he throws it in your face by saying: "Look at everything I do for you. You owe me!"
8.The relationship moves forward very quick. Abusive men persuade as fast as they can. They know that they cannot sustain consistent good behavior for very long. Good behavior does not give them the pay off they want, controlling through abuse does.
9. You catch him telling lies. There are areas of his life that he is not telling you about or is lying to you about because he may lose you.
10.He is interested in everything you have to say and coincidentally always agrees. This is a sneaky technique called mirroring and can later be used to control you by developing trust.
Any of the above must be considered an important warning sign. If you hear any alarms going off in your head, listen to them carefully and act on them. An ounce of prevention can prevent a lifetime of heartache.
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